That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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