I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
