So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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