a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
