why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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