I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
