The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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