He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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