with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
