I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize