i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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