My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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