We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
