Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is my gift to your gina
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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