dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
