Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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