I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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