found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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