So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize