It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
