are you still at the devil's house?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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