We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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