I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
