I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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