My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
