Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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