Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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