when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
