At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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