oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
