i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
