I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
