you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
