What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
