At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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