she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
