have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
