when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
