Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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