how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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