fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
