Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize