i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
