I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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