A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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