Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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