Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
