I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
