You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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