he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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