Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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