Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
