D3 body, D1 cock
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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