I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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