I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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