I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
