when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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