Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
