I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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