I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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