just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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